How to Write Effective Dialogue Tags – Part 2: Showing vs. Telling

Last week, we discussed why an issue arises when we use too many dialogue tags in our fiction. So how can us fiction writers write effective dialogue tags that 1) don’t distract readers from the scene, and 2) shows rather than tells?


It’s much easier to show how this is accomplished rather than tell you about it. (See what I did there?) ;)

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Here’s an example of what NOT to do:

“I don’t care!” he shouted angrily. “I want some ice cream.”

What’s wrong with this example?


The writer uses the adverb angrily to tell how he said the speech. Since adverbs almost always tell rather than show, they need to be omitted from manuscripts when possible.


Let’s rewrite this in a way that shows that the character said this “angrily”:

“I don’t care!” He yanked the lid off the ice cream tub and jammed a spoon into the nearly-frozen dessert. “I want some ice cream.”

Why does this work better?


For one, because the tag “he shouted” is unnecessary in this case. The exclamation point implies that he shouted this sentence. Also, do you notice how the action tag invites the reader deeper into a scene? The reader will pick up on the fact that he’s angry by the way he “yanks” the lid off and “jams” a spoon into the container. (Side note: Always replace adverbs with strong verbs when possible. When chosen carefully, these strong verbs will set the mood you’re trying to establish.)


Are you starting to see how action beats can be far more effective in showing than dialogue tags?


Here’s another example of what NOT to do:

“I’ve never been good enough,” Sarah mumbled sadly.

What’s wrong with this example?


First, the statement she makes—that she’s never been good enough—can stand on its own. The reader will most likely pick up the hint that she means this in a sad way, not in an enthused way.


Let’s rewrite this in a way that shows that the character mumbled this “sadly”:

“I’ve never been good enough.” Sarah’s words were mumbled, and her head lowered as she stared at the big red F on her report card. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring the ink.

Why does this work better?


Again, this rewrite invites the reader to step into the scene. The action beats don’t interrupt the flow of the story, and the reader understands that the character is sad. How does the reader reach this conclusion? Through her dialogue, mumbled words, body language (head lowered), tears, and props (red F on the report card).


The other reason we want to avoid dialogue tags in our fiction is because it could result in choppy dialogue.


Here’s an example:

“Why are you here?” Ben asked. 

“Because I want to be,” Jessica said. “Is that a problem?” she asked. 

“No, I just thought you might have plans this morning,” he said. 

“I canceled them,” she said. “Besides … maybe I wanted to spend my day with you.”

What’s wrong with this example?


Not only is this dialogue smoother, but as the reader, I have no idea how the characters are saying this dialogue. Are they angry with each other? Sincere? Sarcastic? Or is Ben happy that Jessica is there?


Now, the easy way to fix this would be, of course, to add adverbs. For example:

“Is that a problem?” she asked sarcastically.

But again, this is weak because it doesn’t invite the reader deeper into the scene. It relies on the adverb to tell readers that she asked this sarcastically.


So, let’s rewrite this dialogue in a way that shows and doesn’t come across as choppy:

“Why are you here?” A furrow creased between Ben’s brows. 

“Because I want to be.” Jessica took a step closer to him, fidgeting with the chain on her necklace. 

Ben couldn’t help himself—the lightness in her voice, and the brief smile she flashed at him, stole his breath. She tilted her head at him and said, “Is that a problem?” 

“No”—he couldn’t fight the smile slipping onto his lips—“I just thought you might have plans this morning.” Why was his heart racing so fast? 

“I canceled them.” She stood in front of him now and reached for his hand. “Besides … maybe I wanted to spend my day with you.”

Why does this work better?


Not only is this dialogue no longer choppy, but it also gives the reader greater insight into the scene and characters. Thanks to the action/expression beats, the readers can now understand that the two characters aren’t angry at each other; in fact, they were flirting with each other. The first example didn’t exactly give that impression.


Notice that I used Ben’s POV interior monologue to give more insight into his heart/mind. (For example: “Ben couldn’t help himself—the lightness in her voice, and the brief smile she flashed at him, stole his breath.”)


You’ll also notice that the dialogue tag “said” was used; however, it was nearly invisible, wasn’t it? That’s how it should remain in our manuscripts. We should use them sparingly, carefully, and only when necessary. (It could actually be omitted in this example and we would still understand that Jessica was speaking.)


Summary:

When we use dialogue tags the wrong way in our writing, we rob our readers from having a “fictive dream” experience. This is the experience that comes when readers forget they’re reading a book and are swept into the lives of the characters.


When we write, we should pretend as if we’re allowing a movie to play on the screens of our readers’ minds. Movies rely on character’s body language, emotions, actions, and props to fill in the gaps between the dialogue. All of this shows what needs to be shown throughout dialogue rather than tells. (This includes subtext.)


The advantage we have as an author that filmmakers lack? We can go deeper. We can give our readers direct access into the heart and mind of our point of view characters.


So let’s use the tools we have—action/voice/emotion beats, description/props, exposition, and interior monologue—and weave these elements into our dialogue. Let’s erase all traces of telling by being intentional with our dialogue tags and using them the right way.

What’s your advice for writing effective dialogue tags? As a reader, do you find it distracting to read dialogue that uses too many dialogue tags? Let me know in the comments!

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Deepen Your Story With Deep POV

Have you noticed how, when you read a good book, your surroundings seem to vanish? The ink on the pages disintegrate as a scene reels through your mind. These are the kind of stories that stick with us. When someone tells me one of my books gave them this "fictive dream" experience, I know I've done my job as a writer. 

However, writing a book in deep POV isn't easy. There are techniques every writer must learn if they hope to invite their readers to enter the pages of their books. Yet when we accomplish this, our readers will feel as if they've stepped into the shoes of our POV character(s) throughout the course of our story. 

So if you want to give your readers this memorable reading experience, where can you start? 

I'd encourage you to check out my course, "Deepen Your Story With Deep POV". In this course, I cover the techniques and secrets that will breathe life into your setting and scenes. Your readers will have the opportunity to connect with your characters and emotion on a much deeper level. 

Interested in hearing my secrets? Click here to find out more!

“Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” Anton Chekhov

  ~ ~ ~ 
What books have given you a "fictive dream" reading experience?

What is Deep POV, and Why is it Important?

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Have you ever tried to tell your friends about an experience you had, but they didn’t give you the response you hoped for? Maybe they didn’t laugh when you gave the punchline of the story. You then tried to cover up your shame by saying, “You just had to be there.”

If we write our books in a shallow POV rather than in deep POV, we risk that same “cricket chirping” response from our audience. We’re narrating a story that could come across as much more powerful if we chose to instead invite the reader to experience it.

{Continue reading at AlmostAnAuthor.com!}

The Difference Between "Preachy" vs. Christian & Clean vs. Real

*ATTN. teens & young adults: Stick around for the end of this post for a chance to enter a virtual book club!

Many people seem to believe that if a Christian fiction book deals with tough subjects, the spiritual element has been watered down; on the other hand, others read Christian fiction and then complain that the book was far too preachy for their taste. ➙ So where should CBA authors draw the line between being "too preachy" and watering down the spiritual element? 
Many Christian fiction authors hardly mention God in their stories in fear that they will come across as preachy. However, we have to remember that our books are in the Christian fiction genre for a reason. It's okay to incorporate a spiritual theme. It's okay to mention a scripture or two. Just do it in a way that is natural to the flow of your story.

  There are several CBA authors who have accomplished incorporating a strong spiritual element into their stories, and yet I didn't feel as if I were being preached to at all. (Karen Kingsbury and Francine Rivers, just to name a couple.) How can you tell if your book is becoming too preachy? 

• The story is only about your protagonist's salvation or learning a certain lesson.
• Your chapters are filled with scriptures and sermons.
• You're trying to get a point across rather than allowing a story to unfold.

However, if the protagonist's journey comes naturally without any of your interference, then it should be considered Christian rather than preachy.  Fiction should be allowed to present all kinds of real life stories, and a person's journey to find redemption and healing is one of those stories. It happens in real life. So in my opinion, it is completely fine for your protagonist to find Christ in your book--however, you should not have anything to do with his/her journey. It should be completely natural, and the character's salvation should not be entirely what the story is about. ➙ What is the difference between writing "clean" versus writing "real"?
As mentioned, it is possible for a book to be Christian rather than preachy; similarly, it is also possible for a book to be both real and clean. When one picks up a Christian fiction book, they shouldn't have to fear that the story may contain negative content. However, this does not mean that the story may not incorporate real issues that real people deal with in their every day life--it simply means that this content will be presented in a way that strengthens the person's faith rather than weakens it.

  Many CBA authors avoid writing realistically. In effort to write clean stories, they may construct flawless Christian characters who are living their too-perfect, unrealistic lives. But these are not the kind of stories that will minister. Instead, they might cause a reader to feel bad that they aren't as "good" of a Christian. Instead, the readers might stop reading Christian fiction altogether and pick up a secular book that they can actually relate with.

  The kind of stories that really minister to people are the ones that present real issues in a way that pulls people to Christ rather than towards the world. People need to learn how to face their every day challenges and temptations. They need to see how one choice might cause severe consequences. Just because a Christian author writes realistically does not mean that the book shouldn't be considered "clean".  So how is it possible to write both real and clean?

• Create characters that your readers can relate with: imperfect people who struggle with sin and temptation, just like every human. People who are in need of a Savior who can heal their scars, make them new, and offer redemption.
• Offer Biblical solutions to the struggles your characters may face.
• Present real issues in a way that pulls people towards Christ rather than sin. Have your characters learn from their mistakes. 
• "Tell" rather than "show". This may come as a surprise to you since writers are often told to show--but when there are certain "real" scenes that need to take place, it is often best to tell
  
  what happens instead. For example: He cursed rather than showing the actual word he said. Or telling an incident that happens--such as rape--without going into much detail. Or you can infer that it happens by ending the scene right before it takes place, although the readers are aware that it happens. (The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers accomplished this very well.)

Think of the Bible, for instance. If it were to become a full-length film, there is no doubt that it would be rated R. The characters are full of sin. It deals with issues that the world still faces today (adultery, rape, violence, just to name a few). And yet, it is still (obviously) the most popular and impactful Christian book in the world today.

Teens especially need clean, realistic stories. They're going to learn about certain issues one way or another--through music, television, school, friends, online, etc. We might as well present these to them first through the Christian perspective rather than through the world's. That way, they can learn about the negative impact and consequences before they may face the temptation for themselves.

(Side note: Being the youngest in my family, as well as the youngest of 13 cousins, I had the advantage of witnessing the consequences of certain actions before I was faced with them myself as a teenager. This is what a YA Christian fiction novel should accomplish--introducing an issue in a way that makes the young reader want to avoid going down that path. The world will make the sin look appealing; Christian fiction, on the other hand, should present these temptations in a way that influences the young reader to steer clear of it.)

Also, teenagers especially need to feel as if someone "gets" them. They don't like to feel alone. So when we incorporate struggles that teens face into our stories, they can then face their own situations by witnessing how the character dealt with theirs. (Which would then show them that the solution they are searching for can ultimately be find through Christ only.)

So don't be afraid of tackling tough subjects in your writing. You will probably accomplish more on a spiritual level when you write realistically rather than when you only write clean.

♡  ♡  ♡

Speaking of clean YA books . . . 

Would you like to:

• discover new, clean YA/New Adult books?
• discuss these books with other young readers?
• participate in a monthly giveaway?
• support authors and promote clean books?
• possibly win some prizes?

If so, head over to my new website, ReadingClean to join a 100% free virtual book club! You can find everything you need to know about this club on its about page. I hope to see you there! =)

Why Does A Reader Close The Book Before Reaching The End?

The passion I have for books and coffee are almost the same. Well, not really. I'd much rather be without coffee than without books. But I can be very picky about both of them. I can't stand reading a book that isn't well-written, and it's the same with coffee - I don't even enjoy a pot of coffee that isn't fresh.

And I can usually tell if I'll like a cup of coffee by the first sip. Same with reading. Most of the time, I can tell whether or not I'm going to like a book just by reading the first chapter.

Sometimes when I read, I can tell if an author did a lot of studying on the craft of writing before seeking publication. Just because someone loves to write doesn't mean they're an automatic genius at it. A writer who seeks publication without learning the craft first is almost the same as someone auditioning for American Idol because it's their dream. Most people who have never taken voice lessons before auditioning (or just don't have the gift for it at all) end up walking away with no golden ticket in their hand.

If you want to see your name in print one day, having the passion for writing is just not enough. You must study. And if your book ends up getting published despite your bad writing (yes, many "bad books" are published nowadays), you most likely won't end up with good reviews. Some of your readers may even stop reading before getting to the last chapter.

So what are some things that make me put a book down within the first few chapters?

• The book starts with a descriptive sentence or paragraph that's filled with several adjectives/adverbs. Movies and television have caused people to become more impatient when reading. Most of your readers will want to get dropped right in the action of the story. Dialogue is often the best way to go about doing this.
• The dialogue is saturated with "he murmered" or "she demanded", etc. on almost every single dialogue tag. This is probably my number one pet peeve when I read. Not only do these distract me from the story, but they cause my focus to be shifted from the dialogue to the dialogue tags. It's lazy. Instead, why can't the author show how the character said it without telling? It also bothers me when the author uses a normal dialogue tag (he said, she said) on almost every line in the dialogue. Try your best to make the tags invisible to the reader.
• Bad dialogue. The dialogue should not be a normal, every-day conversation. Instead, your dialogue should have a purpose and be important for the plot and/or character development. If it has nothing to do with anything, then cut it out. Avoid making it too wordy also.
• A character's appearance is described all in one sentence, filled with adjectives and adverbs. This is a very cliche, lazy, and uncreative way to describe what someone looks like. I usually have to memorize the character's appearance when an author does this. Show what a character looks like in a creative way, and try not to do this all in one sentence.
• Perfect characters. It frustrates me when I read a book where the main character is popular, beautiful, a "good" Christian with the perfect Christian family, cheer captain, straight A student, and is perfect at everything she does. Some of you may argue that you really do know some "perfect" people (I think I just described my sister when she was in high school...). However, everyone has flaws. And realistically, not everyone is going to be amazing at everything. No one wants to read a book where the MC is perfect. Why? Because readers like to read about characters that they can connect with, not characters that the author made up because it's someone they wish they could be.
• Unrealistic scenes, scenarios, dialogue, and/or plot. I usually close a book when I'm reading a YA novel where I can tell that the author is no longer a teenager and has no idea what it's like to be one anymore.
• The writing lacks voice, and it's really just boring to read. Every sentence sounds the same as the one before. They all have the same length and structure. Might sound choppy. Or it might sound like a run on sentence that just keeps going and you have absolutely no idea what's happening anymore or why the sentence has yet to end and why you're even still reading this book because the writing is so terrible.
• It's repetitive. This is something that I struggle with. It's hard finding new ways to say things such as "she smiled, he laughed, she bit her lips", etc. But it bothers me when an author is repetitive. Either find fresh, creative ways of saying something or cut it out if it's used too much throughout your story.

I think that by figuring out the reasons why you stopped reading a book can help improve your book if you avoid those things in your own writing. The same can go the other way around. If you try pin-pointing the reasons why you kept turning the pages of a book, then you can weave those elements into your books as well.

~~~

What are some things that make you close a book? Why do you think so many "bad" books get published? Are you as picky as I am when it comes to books and coffee? =)

Show Vs. Tell Part 3: When Telling Isn't The Bad Guy

These past two weeks we've discussed the importance of showing instead of telling and how to do this through dialogue. As I've mentioned, there is power in "showing" techniques - however, there can also be power in telling, only if it's used in the right places and in the right way.

Yes, writers have been told over and over to only show. I used to consider telling as the bad guy before reading "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers". Telling is, in fact, necessary, in specific spots. Sometimes it can even add more of an effect to a scene. Here's an example this book gave on how telling can be useful:

"There are going to be times when telling will create more engagement than showing. In the Fritzgerald passage, for instance, the line 'A thrill passed over all of us' is clearly telling. And yes this line, coming so close on the rumor that Gatsby may have killed a man, gives a flavor of cheap gossip to the scene that heightens its effect."
Where, when and how should writers use telling/narrative summary?

1. When there's lots of repetitive action. Chances are that things are going to sound similar if you include every detail of the repetitive action in your story. "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers" gave the example of a track star who participates in several races. Instead of showing each race as a scene, summarize these through telling - otherwise known as narrative summary.
2. Where there's too much explanation. In a situation as this, it's best to R.U.E - resist urge to explain. Cut or summarize any over-explanation in your MS, especially if it can be conveyed through showing.
3. Plot elements that aren't so important to cover every detail, such as driving somewhere or getting ready for an event. With situations such as these, you don't need to show every detail. By just telling your reader that they drove to the grocery store and arrive within ten minutes is enough, simply because it has nothing to do specifically with the plot-line. Unless, of course, there's important dialogue or action involved. Otherwise the author should stick to narrative summary.
4. When there are long periods of time when nothing urgent takes place. Narrate what happens, but again, avoid showing during large chunks of time when it's unnecessary.
5. When there needs to be a break between scene after scene so that it's not exhausting for the reader. Yes, showing is good. But it isn't good if you write your entire novel with scene after scene filled with action and showing, instead of slowing down to allow your reader to relax.

When writing or editing your novel, remember that telling isn't always going to be the bad guy. Showing and telling must work together, especially if you want your book to be intriguing and bring a certain impact to you reader. Just make sure that you know specifically when to tell and when to show.

~~~

Have you always considered telling as "the bad guy"?

When are some other times that telling can be put to good use?

Have you ever read a book that had too much showing and not enough telling (or vise-versa)?

PS: Don't forget to enter my "Me, Just Different" by Stephanie Morrill giveaway!

Show Vs. Tell Part 2: The Rude Playwright - Dialogue

Last week I discussed what show and tell is and how authors should use filmmaking techniques. In this post I'll talk about how not to tell through dialogue, or as "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers" calls it, the rude playwright.

Dialogue is one of the most frustrating things for me to read when it's being "told" instead of "shown". I put a book down when I come across this kind of dialogue. It distracts me, reminding me that an author wrote the story. Readers don't like to be reminded of this because they'd rather feel satisfied being falsely convinced that the story they're reading is actually happening right before their eyes.

The book "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers" gives a great example of how frustrating this type of dialogue can be for your readers:

"Imagine you're at a play. It's the middle of the first act; you're getting really involved in the drama they're acting out. Suddenly the playwright runs out on the stage and yells, 'Do you see what's happening here? Do you see how her coldness is behind his infidelity? ... Do you get it?' You get it, of course... You don't need the writer to explain it to you. This is exactly what happens when you explain your dialogue to your readers."

Since showing is supposed to make things more simple for the reader, it's fairly simple to avoid telling in dialogue. There are just five general rules to keep in mind:

1. Stay away from adjectives and adverbs. People who use these through their dialogue tend to do it for each. And every. Line. This is the main thing that annoys me. Here's an example "Self-Editing For Fiction Writers" gave which helps to clarify the reason why this is wrong:
   
   "'I find that difficult to accept,' she said in astonishment. Here the explanation does let your readers know that your character is astonished. But you don't want them to know the fact, you want them to feel the emotion."
   
   Author Jill Williamson wrote a great post on why adjectives and adverbs should be avoided, only used sparingly throughout the dialogue if necessary.
2. Add beats. Beats are the character's movement during the dialogue. This can show what the characters are doing, their reactions, body language, etc. and it is a tool which can be used in place of the said tag.
3. Don't describe - simply show. Although beats are a good way of showing, authors tend to use beats as an excuse to tell. Here's a tip: avoid describing. For example, don't say:
   
   "Jenna gathered her long, curly chestnut brown hair into a bun on the top of her head but allowed a few ringlets to fall down on the side of her face. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror next to her on the back of the door then turned to me and smiled, showing off her blinding white teeth."
   
   That beat goes on, and on, and on. And most likely, people will just skim over the details and adjectives. If it isn't important, don't add it. If it can be cut, then cut it. And if it's something that a reader can imagine without having to be told, stay away from turning into the rude playwright. The writer should show what's happening simply through dialogue and that is where your focus should be.
4. Trust that the reader has an imagination and doesn't need to know every detail, which goes along with over-describing during dialogue. If you say "Jenna, your hair is gorgeous." You, the author doesn't need to then come in and tell the reader exactly how her hair looked. The reader has an imagination - I'm sure they've seen "gorgeous hair" before. Of course, if there is a significance about the hair or if it's important, then include the specific details. But only in a few words - or even a beat and the dialogue itself, such as:
   
   Jenna brushed one of her chestnut ringlets away from her face. "It's much shorter than what I described to the beautician."
   
   Doing so you are able to show what Jenna's hair looks like through a beat and dialogue, without having to describe it's length and appearance in detail.
5. Mix it up. Don't repeatedly use the "said" tag. Ugh, 'said' can get so boring. It doesn't allow the dialogue to flow as it should. However, there are many ways to "mix it up" so the reader can see what's happening and imagine what's happening. Use a beat every now and then. Use the word 'said' every now and then. Show someone's facial expressions. Or don't use anything at all. Here's an example of an over-use of the said tag:
   
   "I didn't steal your phone," Carl said. "I was eating in the cafeteria at the time it was stolen."
   "I know that you took it," Mrs. Smith said. "Mr. Jones said that he saw you come out of my classroom during lunch period with something in your hand."
   "Don't listen to him! He hates me!" Carl said. "Besides, how do you know I didn't just leave something in your classroom?"
   "Because, Carl. I know you. Now hand me my phone," Mrs. Smith said.
   "Don't have it," Carl said.
   "Yes, you do," Mrs. Smith said.
   "No, I don't! Why would you keep your cell phone on top of your desk, anyway?" Carl said.
   "How did you know it was on top of my desk?" Mrs. Smith said.
   
   Blah. That's so boring. It doesn't flow. Sure, the reader could imagine each person's emotions without having to see facial expression or hear the tone of their voice - but wouldn't that spice things up a bit? Donita K. Paul calls this type of boring dialogue the "dollhouse syndrome" in the book "A Novel Idea" - which basically means that the author is wiggling their characters to talk, similar to the way that kids wiggle or bounce their Barbie's as she talks for him/her. There's only dialogue.
   
   Instead of "wiggling the characters" to allow them to speak, mix it up:
   
   "I didn't steal your phone," Carl said. "I was eating in the cafeteria at the time it was stolen."
   Mrs. Smith's face was stern, the way it always was when she was upset. "I know that you took it. Mr. Jones said that he saw you come out of my classroom during lunch period with something in your hand."
   "Don't listen to him! He hates me!" Carl raised his voice, ignoring the fact that his other classmates were probably listening to their conversation through the closed door. "Besides, how do you I didn't just leave something in your classroom?"
   "Because, Carl. I know you. Now hand me my phone."
   He crossed his arms. "Don't have it."
   "Yes, you do."
   "No, I don't! Why would you keep your cell phone on top of your desk, anyway?"
   Mrs. Smith tilted her head. "How did you know it was on top of my desk?"

There are many rules how to write dialogue the "correct" way - but the main thing you need to remember is to write the kind that flows, the kind of dialogue that you wouldn't get frustrated reading. Most likely, that's the type of dialogue that your readers will also enjoy. Just make sure to keep the rude playwright off the stage.

~~~

Have you ever put down a book before because the author over-told the dialogue?

What are some other general tips for showing in dialogue?

PS: Come back Friday for a chance to win the book "Me, Just Different" by Stephanie Morrill!

Show Vs. Tell Part 1: Allowing Your Readers To Experience Your Story

Almost every author in this century should know by now to avoid telling in stories. So why is it that so many of the books I read seem as if the author has ignored this rule? Perhaps there's a misunderstanding about the term show and tell. Based off of what I've been told, the difference between showing your readers the story and telling them about it is the difference between telling someone about the amazing trip you went on or allowing them to experience it them selves - it's the difference between telling your readers about the story in your imagination and showing them why it's so great.

Why is it so crucial that now-a-day writers should show instead of tell? Because, people don't have as much patience as they used to. We would rather be involved in a story that's fast-paced instead of taking up our time trying to imagine the setting and all the other details. We're generally lazy - we'd like to be shown what's happening with no effort invloved rather than to try hard to imagine it for ourselves. And it's the author's job to write in a way that isn't complicated - write in a way so that the reader will hardly know the difference between watching a movie and reading a book.

However, there are many layers to showing and telling that I'm starting to learn more about. Of course, there is the obvious - using action verbs instead of adjectives and adverbs, replacing said tags with character movement and expression. But there is also power, I've realized, beneath the general showing and telling that can make the difference within your story. It can make the difference within the reader also.
I'm currently reading the book "The Art & Craft of Writing Christian Fiction" by Jeff Gerke. In it, he gives one of the greatest analogies of what show and tell is. Here's what he says:

"You must cease thinking of yourself as a fireside tale-teller and begin thinking of yourself as a filmmaker. Now the scenario is changed. Now you're limited to camera and microphone to convey your story. Now you have to dress your characters and light your scenes and compose your shots. Now you are forced to show the story through action, scene, and dialogue."
Yes, there can be power in writing a story as if you're a filmmaker or telling it like you're a fireside tale-teller. It's only when you learn the right techniques will your story go in the direction that you want it to.

~~~

Why do you think so many authors continue to ignore this rule?

Are times when authors should be able to "tell"?

What are some other good analogies of what show vs. tell means?

Converting Your Imagination into Words

"Don't fool yourself: Read what is actually on the page, not the brilliant unwritten story in your imagination."

~ Philip Gerald

It's easy to come up with a story. Anyone can do that. But the stories that could play to a reader in their head are the ones that get published.

So how are authors able to put their imagination into words? I've learned that it's not easy. At all. In fact, it's what I'm struggling with most right now. It's difficult for me to explain things to people, which is odd, considering writing is what I want to pursue most in life. But you can't write a novel unless you're planning on telling a story to someone, not to yourself. What I mean is, as I'm writing my manuscript, I see it in my head the way I want it to be - but the reader may not interpret it that way. Your readers aren't going to be able to experience the amazing story you have created unless you allow them to experience it. But how?

Here are a few things I keep in mind when trying to "put my imagination into words":

~~

• Read it out loud. Pretend like you are someone just reading
  your story for the first time. Does it make sense? What's missing?
  
• Make sure that your characters are introduced. Don't just assume that your reader already knows all about your protagonist before they read your story.
  
• Have someone else read it. Ask them how they see the story, and if it's not the way you want your readers to interpret it, then go edit or rewrite. It's worth it!
  
• Include enough imagery. As I mentioned in the previous post, setting details are extremely important for your reader. They won't be able to see what's happening unless you give them something to see!
  
• Include sensory details. When you play the scenes through your mind, what do you hear? Smell? Taste? See or feel? Write it down.
  
• Have your readers feel your protagonist's emotions. If I just told you that Mary was sad, that doesn't put you to tears, does it?
• Make sure your scenes flow. If the scenes are choppy, then you're most likely telling, not showing.
  
• Don't rush your scenes. This is the main thing I'm struggling with. It's easy to hurry with the scenes that I write since I know what's happening and what will happen next - but it's so important to avoid this! Rushing your novel means you're telling, now showing. Don't just imagine and tell your scenes, show it through your pages.
  

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Remember, have your reader watch what happens, not be told what's happening. Let them experience the journey for themselves.

What are some ways you make sure your reader will see what you see? Comment and let me know!