One of my favorite aspects of writing is having the opportunity to incorporate my own struggles and experiences into my fiction.
But I didn’t know the opposite was true as well: that my reality would, at times, begin to copy my fiction.
After I completed my YA novel, PURPLE MOON, I started to have deja-vu as many of my personal experiences seemed as if they were written straight out of my book.
None of these moments were creepy or extremely overt—they were subtle, but definitely obvious. Such as meeting someone who was strangely similar to one my secondary characters, in almost the same way that my protagonist met them.
Of course, I’m not being superstitious or anything like that. I just think it’s interesting to witness these coincidences (and it makes me almost reconsider writing some other story ideas I have … haha).
However, the latest way my reality has attempted to copy my fiction wasn’t exactly fun to witness. Nor was I expecting it.
I can’t exactly announce what this was since I don't want to give away any spoilers. But let’s just say that—there is a secondary character in PURPLE MOON that has a certain struggle. And this certain struggle tempts her to become angry with God, preventing her from keeping up with her blog.
I hate to admit that this has been the case with me as well.
|photo credit: Aki Hänninen via photopin cc|
But apparently the shock of it all has been too much for me to handle. And I didn’t want this to be the case.
I wanted to maintain a good attitude through it all. I wanted to thank God and trust Him, no matter what.
But little by little, I have felt my faith being stretched. Such as the times when I wake up in middle of the night with a high or low blood sugar. Or the fact that I have had 9 appointments with my doctor/endocrinologist/diabetic educator in three months (and have 3 more in December).
|photo credit: DeathByBokeh via photopin cc|
And I admit: There have been times when I have gotten angry, when I started to wonder what I did to deserve this. And I hate this kind of attitude. I’ve always hated it when people would blame God for their struggles. Because I know that God has the ability to bring beauty of ashes. I know that, as long as I stay with Him, everything I face can be used for good some day.
Which is why I have become upset when I catch myself getting angry with God, asking Him why this has happened to me. This was not in the plans I had for myself this year.
This was not where I saw myself: getting so behind in my work because of a time-consuming, threatening, stressful, unpredictable, annoying, chronic disease.
I wasn’t expecting for my source of excitement to come from receiving two devices in the mail, both of which will constantly be attached to me. One that measures my blood glucose throughout the day (which prevents me from having to prick my fingers as often), and another that delivers insulin into my body (which prevents me from having to give myself multiple daily injections).
|My continuous glucose monitor. This thing is a life-saver.|
I wasn’t expecting that I would have to be careful about every single carb I ate, or that I would have to become aware of what my blood sugar was constantly to avoid passing out or going into a coma.
I’m not saying all of this to make you feel sorry for me; I’m saying this so you’ll hopefully understand why I have neglected to keep up with this blog very well recently.
I want apologize, just like my secondary character did in Purple Moon, to all of my readers.
And just so you know, I am not closing this blog. Blogging is my passion. I love having the opportunity to meet other writers, to share what I have learned, to document my journey, and encourage teenagers. This is the best outlet I have to do so.
I am, however, asking that you guys bear with me. I am going to spend December recuperating and getting caught up in other things (such as school, writing, and promotion), and reflecting on which direction I should take my blog in 2015.
I will continue to post, as I have been doing—just not my usual, 3-times-a-week postings. (I will, however, continue to post Monday’s Minute Challenge.)
And if you guys could let me know what changes you would like to see on my blog, that would be awesome!
Let me know in the comments:
- What you enjoy most about my blog
- If there is anything you would like for me to do differently (even in Monday's Minute Challenge)
- Your favorite and least favorite posts (book reviews, coffee recipes, writing tips, devotions, personal posts, author interviews, etc.)
Meanwhile, check out how you can win a $20 Amazon gift card or my novel, PURPLE MOON. Click here for details! =)